Be Desireless

Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi

Deinze, Belgium
4 August, 1991 

Today, we have assembled here to do puja to Buddha. As you know Buddha was a son of a king. And one day He was shocked to see a very poor man, thin man, walking on the street, very unhappy person, and He felt very sad about it. Then He saw one person who was very sick and about to die. Then He saw a man who was dead and people were carrying him to the cremation ground. This all upset Him very much and He started thinking about it and seeking what is the reason for all these happenings in human beings. Firstly, why do they become so miserable or sick, or, why do they die so miserably? The reason He found out in His search. He went round the whole world, I should say, in the sense: He read Upanishads, He read … went to many gurus, went to many places of spiritual education, Benares, everywhere He went. And ultimately, He was sitting under a banyan tree when suddenly His kundalini was awakened by Adi Shakti and He got His realization. Then He realized that the reason for all this is the desire.

In Sahaja Yoga, we have now understood that all other desires are not pure desires. Firstly, whatever desires are fulfilled, we are not satisfied by it, first thing. And secondly, all these desires have a repercussion. So what is the pure desire? That, you all know, is the kundalini. Kundalini is the power of pure desire, which fulfils your pure desire to be the spirit, to be Buddha, to be enlightened. Buddha means a person who is enlightened. So Gautama become… became Buddha, as you people now have become Sahaja yogis. But because He went through all these various penances, whatever He learned became part and parcel of Him, but in Sahaja Yoga it is all sahaj. So we always conclude everything that «This is, after all, sahaj.» And when we try to work out anything, we always say, «Oh, it will work out spontaneously. It's all right, Mother will do for us everything.» This is a common failing in Sahaja Yoga.

So whether to put you all through that long process or to give you realization was a question before Me. Because, in these days of confusion there cannot be much time to put you through all which Buddha had gone, and He was one individual, I had to put all of you. That would have been very difficult. I don't know how many would have sustained it. Most of them would have dropped out half way, or maybe quarter of the way. So it was done in a sahaj manner. You did not have to sit in a banyan tree. Ultimately you got your realization. Your kundalini was awakened and you got your enlightenment. But that enlightenment which settled in Buddha, is not settled in us because our chakras were not cleansed as He had cleansed His chakras. We had the same body, the same mind and the same attitude when we got realization. As we were looking at the house of God, still we are looking at the house of God, but you have entered inside the house and you have to look out from the windows. This you forget. And though we are sitting now on a hilltop out of all the congestion and all the traffic, still you see a car, you get frightened. You don't know you are sitting on top of a hill where your Mother has put you nicely. And that is how you try to behave.

When I get reports about Sahaja yogis, I am quite amazed that they do not know that they are realized souls now. That's why Buddha talked of desirelessness. It's not possible before realization, even after realization I find it's difficult. Some sort of a subtle desire exists and where you have to work it out, you do not work it out, saying that «Our ego will be catching.» So wherever it suits us we work that way, wherever it suits we work this way. The solution of the whole thing is one which I have found out Myself, was this: that it's a collective happening. A person who is an individual can never get over his ego. Individualistic person cannot get over his ego. The one who lives individually, wants to enjoy everything individually, can never get over his ego because you have not gone through all that penances. Or else, if you are an individual then you better go through all these penances and then come back.

So the solution is to wash all our chakras, cleanse our life in the collective, and this is what was the solution of the problem of ego. Formerly, everybody worked out individually. Like they had to go to Himalayas, take some guru, then the guru would throw him out. Then he would go to another guru, then work there, then he'll throw it out. Then next life he'll be born again; again he'll be thrown out. Ultimately, if one guru accepts, all right, very well. He's beaten up, he's tortured, he's treated every way, hanged upside-down. And then ultimately, if any guru gets nearer to any one individual, he would give him realization. This was the situation.

But in Sahaja Yoga, the door is open — anybody can come in, anybody. Get your realization. Because I have faith in collectivity, this collective life will definitely give you what Buddha got through His individual efforts. But there also we fail that we do not know how to be collective. Individualism is all the time around us. In every way we think of individuals. Wherever collectivity has worked, Sahaja Yoga has prospered; and wherever it has not worked, there has been a problem. So it is very important that we should look at ourselves, and see for ourselves and see how much collective we are. Do you enjoy collectivity, or not? Are you aiming at collectivity, or not? As soon as I thought of this Cabella — place you have seen, and I thought I'll make a little ashram there, near the river, for you. Immediately people said,"Mother is it all right if we buy our own houses here?" Immediately. Then what is the purpose? And then they will call Me,

 « Mother please come to my house for dinner. Please come to my little house for some tea.» I'm not interested.

 So in Sahaja Yoga, unless and until you really become collective in every sense, you cannot ascend and you cannot wash yourself, you cannot cleanse yourself. This point He did not say, but in a way He did say because He has said,

«Buddham sharanam gacchami.» First I surrender myself to my Self-realization. Then He said,

«Dharmam sharanam gacchami „ means the dharma in me, I myself surrender to that dharma. That is spirituality. And thirdly He said,

‛Sangham sharanam gacchami.» Sangha means collectivity, I surrender myself to the collectivity.

But He did not know how to give en-masse realization at that time. So He got hold of disciples who had to shave off their heads, whether you are a queen or a king; who had to wear only one cloth, whether you are a man or a woman; who had to have only one mat to sleep in a big hall. No husband and wife, no marriage, nothing. And they had to beg their food in the village and feed the guru and also they themselves had to eat that food, whether it was sufficient or not. That is not in Sahaja Yoga. Everything is enjoyable in Sahaja Yoga from the very beginning and you are supposed to be absolutely joyous people in Sahaja Yoga. That is there. But the joy of the collectivity — if you do not know how to enjoy, then you cannot ascend, because there's no other way out. What is the other penance? For some people even collectivity is a penance till they start enjoying it. And they are very troublesome; «This is not good,» very critical. Some of them stay in the ashram and criticize everything all the time. «This is not good. I don't like this, I don't like that.»

So here, in complete awareness, I mean you cannot be mesmerized. If you are mesmerized then you can live whatever way you like. But in complete awareness and full understanding we have to become collective. This is one of the solutions for our cleansing. We can say like this: supposing My hands are dirty, so I go to one tap and I find there is one drop coming, so I can't wash. So I go to another place, there's no water. Third place I find there's nothing available. Ultimately, I reach the place where I find some water. Then I wash Myself completely, because I know I can't find it anywhere else. But in Sahaja Yoga, you are immersed in the water of collectivity. If you enjoy this collectivity and can swim in that, then there's no problem.

Buddha, as you know, is working on our right side, on our Agnya. Is very surprising, the Deity like Him, to work on the right side. First He said, for the right side, you should be detached, desireless. I mean, nobody would work if they have no desire and if they have no way of earning something out of it, I mean, in the normal sense. But desirelessly you have to work. Then only the right side can be conquered — very symbolic. Normally the right-sided people are extremely thin, but Buddha is very fat. Normally the right-sided people are extremely serious, very serious, even if you tickle them they won't laugh. But Buddha is laughing all the time with His both His hands like this, enjoying Himself. See the contrast. So when you are working without any desire, only then, this state can be achieved that you'll be all the time laughing. But those who feel that «we are doing this work» with certain desire … I mean, some are very low-level people, want to make money, some, this, that, nonsense — that goes on, but it becomes even subtler and subtler and subtler. As you become subtler, the desires start becoming subtler and subtler and subtler. And if you are not careful, it just comes up.

So He's the one who is on the right side placed, going to the left side. He's the one who has said that «You have to be desireless,» on the right side. What a contrast. Specially in the West, I've seen people do little bit «Huh.» What have they done?

«I lifted that spoon.»

And with the spoon they sit down. And they are surprised to see Me that I'm not tired. But I don't do anything. I mean, I have no desires. Actually I never do anything; I'm just Nishkriya, I'm just doing nothing. So, when you become that instrument, surrendered instrument, when you know you are not doing anything whatsoever, then on the right side you achieve mastery. How you achieve mastery? You don't do anything, all right? You go to any shop and you get a jackpot, without doing anything. You do not desire anything and suddenly you find, which you have never ever thought of is before you, there, sits there, available for you, just have it.

So, with the desire to achieve something, when you work out, it also has a reaction. Every action has a reaction. But action without desire cannot have reaction because there's no desire already. Supposing, supposing, I get lost somewhere on the way. So I never feel upset about it because, maybe I have to be there. Supposing I want to, sort of, I have to buy some, say like a castle, take it like that. So people get… I have to buy you see, that's different than desiring. I mean, it also came in My neck suddenly, I just said that «I have to live in Italy, so must buy a house,» they showed Me a castle, and this turned out to be no good. All right, doesn't matter. Then the second one, everybody got attached.

«You must buy this, at any cost,.» this thing. I somehow didn't like the place very much, but I said,

 «All right, let their desire be fulfilled.»

It so happened that they were all uprooted and they had to buy another one, which they didn't want to buy. And I was very happy about it because I didn't desire anything, and it turned out to be the best. The reason is, whatever is best happens to Me. So whatever happens to Me, I know is the best, is all for My good, is for the good of Sahaja Yoga.

Now anybody criticizes Sahaja Yoga, it's very, very good, excellent. Like in India, first of all, there was one magazine where Rajneesh used someone to speak against Me. But that lady had stolen some of My photographs and had given the photographs as well, and everybody in My family was so angry, My brothers, My husband, they wanted to sue the paper. I said,

«I don't like this idea of suing the paper or anything.»

So, when we had the first program in Delhi, it was so overcrowded that I could not even take My car inside. So I had to … I mean, the outside also was filled, and they had to put loudspeakers outside the hall. And I asked the people how is it they are here?

They said, «We saw your photographs in the Illustrated Weekly and we were so much impressed.»

They never read anything, not a word, and they were all there. One of them is Harsh and so many of them have come from there, just seeing the photograph. So if she had stolen the photograph it was for our good, and it … I mean, normally we would have paid lot of money to publish something — without paying any money it was there. And then these people, you see, My family people, they saw that this magazine was closed for six months and they had to go into a terrible loss. I didn't desire that either.

When you're desireless you are happy because you are never disappointed, you are never nervous. So to be desireless doesn't mean that you become something absurd or ascetic or anything like that, but not to expect something. «If I do like this then this will happen. If I do like this that will…» Not to worry, do what you want to do. One thing you should know that nothing bad can happen to you, and if something bad is happening, that something wrong with you.

I'll tell you another thing. This time, first time, I fell down a little bit, little bit, not much. So they said, «You can't go out of the house at all. You cannot move out because it's raining and you'll develop arthritis.»

 I can never develop anything like that, but doesn't matter. So I was made to stay in the house and I wrote this book in that. It was nice I fell down. Otherwise they would have said, «Come here, come.» All My family was there for a holiday. Thank God. I got these four-five days, I wrote this book. So make the best of all disappointments. If there is a disappointment, just smile at it and know for … it is for your good, to discover something new, to find out something better. But the conditioning is so strong. That's why I say, «Be in the collective.»

Now for example, we have Indians, we have got French, we have this, that and all that. All their conditions are around them, still. For Indians, must have Indian food wherever they go. It's a very difficult situation. That way you people are better, you eat every sort of … even you eat wretched Indian food. I don't like very much Indian food Myself; it's not very nourishing. It's more tasty but not nourishing. But you don't mind eating any food whatsoever, that's a good thing about you, but your desires are another, little different, which you know very well, I need not tell you. Like, I told ladies not to carry too many cosmetics and heavy things with them, but whenever they come the men break their hands picking up their big, big suitcases.

Now, I'm not saying that should walk about in a manner that is not so decent, but for that, keep to minimum. Or else, there is a competition with a leader, always, somebody will be there. But in the West what I find, not so much for food but for house, even in India, if you marry an Indian wife she'll try — or a Greek, Greek wife also — will try to keep the husband to herself, is a common thing, I've seen it. They're something like Indians and they'll spoil the ascent of the husband and theirs also. Is a fact. And very dominating. Indian women won't be dominating but they will try to control the husband, to have another house of their own. But they don't know… Indians don't know collectivity, they are very individualistic.

Now with Sahaja Yoga, of course, they are learning gradually how to be one with others. Moreover, culturally some people are different so they stick onto their own culture. Of course, whatever is good in any culture should be taken, because whatever is universal culture is in Sahaja Yoga. But so many things there are where we just falter because of our conditionings. And that's why, at the same time, we had another great incarnation of Mahavira, who's pointed out what are the punishments for people who indulge into their conditionings. I mean, horrible things He has talked about. What will happen to people if they have their conditioning, where will they end up, what will be their situation, what kind of hell they will get, this has been described. Horrible things. Of course I'm not going to tell about that today.

 But common thing about Him and all His contemporary: like Buddha, Kabira and all these people, was one thing common which came that they — not Kabira so much as Buddha — that it's better not to even talk about God but to talk about abstract, about formless. Because the worst condition in those days was that once they started worshipping any deity or anything, they became complete slaves of that. Like Mohammed Sahib also said … He talked of nirakar. But these two went even beyond that and they talked, «There's no God, better not talk of God just now, better get your Self-realization.» I did the same in the beginning. I said, «Get your Self-realization.» Because anybody can start, «I am God.» So they never talked about God, not at all, and they all the time said that «There is no God but it is your Self.» They tabooed actually — they're called as Nirishwaras, Nirishwarwad did not believe — both of them did not believe in God, but in Self-realization. They knew that I had to come and tell you about it.

So Buddha has talked about the future Buddha, which is Matreya. Ma is Mother, who is in three forms: Mahakali, Mahalakshmi, Mahasaraswati. Any Buddhist, if you ask him to ask the question of Matreya, he gets his realization just then. So He talked of Matreya because He knew that when Matreya will come, She will have to tell people about Ishwara. According to them, the people had not that … reached that stage that you could tell them about Ishwara. So they said there is no God just to accentuate Self-realization, Atmagyan, knowledge about your self, Self-realization. And early Buddhists, I'm told … of course they were bhikshukas, they were ascetics, but they had the experience of the cool breeze of the Holy Ghost, just like the Gnostics I think, but they were very few. They were not as many as you are, but quality-wise they were very high because all of them had come through that terrible penances. So quality-wise they were very high and because the difference between them and others, the quality-wise, was so much that they could not impress the others and so just it died out, I should say.

But still we had Zen, where Vidditama, is another disciple of Christ went down… of Buddha, went down and Tao. These two are the ones which are expressing Buddha's ideals about Sahaja Yoga. Tao is nothing but Sahaja Yoga. Tao means how, how it works out, and Zen system, Zen means dhyana. So they also believed in raising the kundalini. They did not hit, at that time, anybody's spinal chord, but later on they started hitting people's spinal chord with some stick to put them into dhyana. So Tao and Zen both are offshoots of the same Buddhism, in the real sense of the word I should say, of their ascent without talking about Ishwara, about God, but aims were the same, to become Buddha, but they also died out. I met the head of the Zen who came to Me for curing. I asked him, I said,

«How is it you are the leader, you are not even a kashayapa?». Kashayapa is the one who is a realized soul. So He told Me, confessed to Me they had only twenty-six Kashayapas throughout and only after the sixth century it started, and very few were there and it has died out. That means how lucky you are that you are all realized souls. So for our banyan tree — is the collectivity. We have to make ourselves subtler beings, to be one with the collective, and that is very enjoyable, very beautiful. Those who cannot do it, cannot progress in Sahaja Yoga, they are problematic and they create problems and they trouble everyone. Their attention is bad and no one knows how they stand.

So Buddha's message is, of course, is not to develop ego. But how do you do that? First of all, whatever you are doing you have to say, «I am not doing it. It's Mother who is doing it» or «God who is doing it, I am not doing anything.» But if you feel that you are doing something for Sahaja Yoga, it's better you stop doing it. But you should say, «No, it came my way. I just … I didn't do anything. I was just there. That's all.» Then you have achieved a great deal. And the second thing is of desire, even desire of anything, of smallest thing or the biggest thing or even loving your children, loving you wife, this «my, mine» all those things; all these desires, if they are not fulfilled you feel frustrated, then you must know that there's something wrong with you. But, if you understand the sense of collectivity, then you can ascend very fast.

I would say Indians are extremely religious, disciplined people, in a way, but they are lacking in collectivity. If they can come up to collectivity, they can shoot off. The only nation which I have found very good, is Russia. Because of Communism they are collective and desireless, because all their desires were fulfilled by Communistic ideas, they didn't have any choices left, and also they were collective. In a way Communism has suited the public not the government. While the other way round — democracy has suited the government to make money but the public has suffered.

So we are people who have not been able to know about collectivity. So I would say the collectivity develops faster in the West, no doubt, much faster, but desireless, desirelessness is less. So it's like somebody has the teeth and somebody has the food, sort of a thing. If we can see ourselves as we are and try to understand that either we have this problem or that problem. If you could just somehow or other neutralize this one-sided problem, you could be there, because if you solve one you can go to another, from there to there. But just to stand in the center and see for yourself, «What are my desires?» Count them one by one. I mean if I have to think, «What is My desire,» I become thoughtless, really, My position is horrible. If I have to think, «What should I desire now,» I become thoughtless. I was … sometimes I said, «I will develop some ego.» I don't know from where to start. Must have some ego, after all everybody has, so why not Me? I don't know how to start it.

Then, we also have these conditionings of developing this horrible thing called guilt. I mean this I, it's another … at the time of Buddha nobody had this problem, I think. This is a modern technique, to feel guilty; some sort of a modernism in it because I don't know how it is worked out. And this modernism of this horrible thing called «guilty» is something really has come to My lot to clear out, not at the time of Buddha, He never had this. Otherwise He would have paved way for Me, but that He did not. He has left it to Me to clear out your Left Vishuddhis and Mine also, all the time hurting Me here. So this horrible thing — specially Western mind, Indians don't have guilt, nothing — but this has to be overcome.

As you know that Buddha and Mahavira both support the center of Agnya. So if you have to have a very clear-cut Agnya chakra then on one side you should be desireless, you should forgive, «ksham.» Ksham is the bija mantra, is to forgive; bija mantra of right side. Kshum, I forgive. And the left side is «hum.» Like the left sided person always feels, «Oh, I'm no good.» This he has to say, «No, I'm good.» «Hum,» «I am.» So hum and kshum: these are two bija mantras, which we have to say. Of course, if you say they will act because, after all, now your pranas have become pranavas, your breath has become enlightened, but rather weak I should say, but doesn't matter. Your mantras can act. You must use these two bija mantras to clear out your Agnyas. But Mahavira has a solution for this that after realization if you catch your Agnya, you get a terrible headache. That's Mahavira's style. You do anything wrong, you get punishment; you indulge into anything, you are punished; you go against Sahaja Yoga, you are punished. I'm not doing anything, it's Mahavira, simultaneously working. If you try to be overly smart, you are outsmarted.

So these two forces are working from the right, left, left to right. If you overdo right, then the left hits you hard. If you overdo left, then the right hits you hard. Both of them are like, really like, double-pronged attacks. One is, says, «Don't have desire.» All right, you have desire — punished, this side. Like, some people say,

«I must have children, I must have children.»

You give them the children, they say, «Mother, why this horrible child you have given me; he's such a horrible thing.»

Then somebody says, «Mother, give me a lady from, say, Maharashtra.»

Recently there was a case like that. She was bothering too much, «Mother, give me one lady from Maharashtra.» And a real special style came to punish. They said, «No more from Maharashtra,» and she was really… I've never heard of such a woman in Maharashtra. Horrible. Because she was insisting on it, so she had it, and she says, «No more from Maharashtra; baarpre baap.»

«No, no,» I said, «everybody is excellent. This was an exceptional case, came just to punish you.»

So, to have any desires … if you cross a certain limit you are punished, and that is done by Mahavira. In a small way or a big way. Like, there was a little boy who came to London, very bombastic, and he wanted to buy something for himself. I took him to an ordinary shop and there was a very nice coat, full wool and all that. He wouldn't buy.

«I want to go to a big shop.»

I said, «All right.» So, I said, «I'm not coming.»

I sent His father. And he came back with an artificial coat from that shop without knowing that it was artificial, because he wouldn't take something from an ordinary shop. So in the big shop, very nicely, big price they gave and this they got. Every minute Sahaja yogis must know that there is a Mahavira sitting round. Also, Buddha is there who gives you an indication that «Don't do this. Do not desire so much.» He puts limitations to you; but if you don't listen, then all right, Mahavira is there to correct you. Up to a point He goes, then you get headaches, then you say,

«Mother, why did I get headaches?» You asked for it. It's such an automatic machinery that we have to be very careful as Sahaja yogis.

So, today's understanding should be that we all should become collective from inside. We should not grudge or grumble about everything and enjoy the collectivity. But the second side of collectivity is this, that, do not try to exploit the collectivity otherwise you'll be in trouble. Like, I've seen some people don't know how to use their bathrooms. When you are collective you have to be respecting the collectivity of others. By your presence another person should not, by any chance, suffer, or should not feel in any way insulted or inconvenienced. So when you are in the collective it should be such that another person should enjoy your company, enjoy your being there. That is something where there is no problem. But if you are demanding, and if you are asking for things and you think no end of yourself, you can not at all collective, by any chance, but you'll suffer for that, automatically you will suffer. If this is realized and understood properly, your Agnya is solved. Like anger. There are people always boast, «I'm very angry with him.» Boast. But just make that anger into forgiveness and you will see the person, instead of you getting into problems, he will get into problems. Anger will upset you, but forgiveness will upset him, automatically. It's the biggest weapon you have got — is to forgive. And this is shown in Buddha's character throughout.

 And this will give you self-respect that you are not disturbed by anything, you see. Like a ship has to be seaworthy. If you put the ship on the sea and if it breaks, what's the use of making a ship? What's the use of a Sahaja yogi who gets disturbed at every moment? You have to be seaworthy, and if you are seaworthy nothing can disturb you. All right. The elephant is walking and the dogs are barking — all right, let them bark. What does it matter? The elephant looks this side, like that, sometimes takes some water and blesses them with water. «All right. Quieten down; so that your head will be cooled down.» That will give you self-esteem and you will know what you are — much higher than others. And this is what is … how to get rid of your ego, which is a very, very big problem according to you people.

«Mother, how to get rid of ego?»

Ego can be said, «You go.»

When this I-ness goes away, the Self rises. What is there to feel hurt? What is there to feel bad? What is there to hurt others? Han [Hindi meaning ‘yes'] all right, you are cheated, very good; at least you have not cheated anyone, be happy about it. But once you are without ego means you have surrendered yourself, no one can cheat you. Can you understand that? No one can cheat you because there is some higher force, which is looking after you. This is the way we should understand Buddha. This is … we should know our Buddha qualities. This is how our ego can be dissolved. When you say,

«Mother, we surrender to You,»

That just means that you give that horrible ego a complete holiday, it means that. That is how this ego disappears. I think all your, your… just now, your Agnyas are opened out, most of you, somehow. And then you'll laugh at everything; you'll make fun of yourself; just enjoy everything.

May God bless you!