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Ãëàâíàÿ arrow In English arrow Public arrow The Knowledge of Self Within - 1980
The Knowledge of Self Within — 1980 |  Print    version  |

Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi

Kingston-on-Thames, UK
11 June, 1980 

Today we have gathered here to know something about our Self. If the knowledge is from the books or from some person who says that he knows about the Self, how far will it reach us? It can only go up to mental level and we can only understand it through our mental understanding. The mental understanding comes to us through our rationality, through our intellect, which in itself is a limited thing.

So we enter into another understanding which is still very limited. E.g. if I tell you that there is a Self which resides in our heart and that there is a power within us which is all the time waiting for an occasion to give you your second birth, if I tell you that, then you will only understand me mentally. This has all been said already, what is so new about it? At the most I can give it in a very modern fashion, something quite intellectual which will make you have more mental feats to go round and round. You will sit down and analyze and reach nowhere.

I say there is a power, no doubt, which is called «KUNDALINI» within us. So many say that, because it is written long time back. Thousands of years back. Christ has said it that you are to be born again, that you are to be baptized, not by theological college people, but by somebody like John, the Baptist, who had the authority from the Divine. This power does lie dormant within you but everybody writes differently about it. Very few really agree. This is another confusion one faces. That there is a power lying within us and some say that it gives you electric shock, some say that you start jumping like a frog and some say that you start flying in the air. Such a confusion, while you are seekers, seekers of ages you have been seeking. You are genuine seekers and then while seeking you don't know where to go and what to expect; you jump into problems.

The other day when I went to Switzerland, one of my children, who had arranged the program, he told me «Mother, here people are very skeptical about Indian Gurus.» I am very happy about it, really very very happy that they have started thinking about it because they have been deluded and deceived and now they are disillusioned completely. And they find it impossible to believe anyone who talks of God. So the first topic that he wanted me to discuss during my stay there was «Demystification of Gurus». Quite a challenging topic. But this I said in 1970 in India, in 1973 in America, but no one would like me for that. They say, «Why should you criticize others».

Falsehood is falsehood and reality is reality. You will now know through some of those people who are here that how you have been misled, how you have been deceived for money which you cannot understand because you have gone beyond it now. You are seeking beyond money. You know that money is not going to give you joy. You know that very well. But those who have not yet known that, still they are climbing up the cusp, they have not seen the ditch below. Such people try to come up and try to give you some sort of a jargon and receive lot of money from you. It is a very shameful affair, I feel myself.

But that does not mean that there is no reality. If there is no reality, how can we have copies of that? If there are no flowers, how will you create plastic flowers? So, if you find somebody so unreal, you must know that you have to find out the Real. And when you are finding the real, you must know that you must keep yourself absolutely alert about it that you are not going to accept anything but real. But you can be hypnotized, you can be brainwashed, because you do not know all these things. Somebody says some words in Sanskrit language, you get so enamored by that as if Sanskrit language is something out of the blue, e.g. some of the disciples, who went to certain Gurus, got «Mantras» which if you tell an Indian, he will laugh out his stomach; like a Mantra given «Ainga». Now tell any Indian and he will laugh and people had paid three hundred pounds for such a nonsense like that which means nothing, which cannot be a Mantra. Why do you need a Guru for Mantra? There is a science about it. Because we do not go into the understanding of it and we just jump on to it, because they want you to, because they want money. Simple thing. It is an enterprise.

You have given up everything for the sake of your seeking. You have seen that the value of these material things will not take you anywhere, you have seen beyond. Your value system is different but if the value system of some people is different from you they can exploit you. So the natural reaction, I can understand very well, should be such.

But there is reality and that it exists within you and that there is Self within you and once discovered, you find your Absolute. To tell you that you should become a very quiet and serene person would be absurd. To tell you that you should be such a master over your passions and your lust and your greed that nothing should sort of dominate you, this is like giving a big lecture to you. It has no meaning.

You have gripped it yourself these things and how will you leave it, when your grip is so strong. You have to grip something else. It is simple common sense. If you find something, much more valuable, much more dynamic, much more joy giving, establishing your sense of security, you will give up all these nonsensical things.

But see how it works out. A gentleman, who came from a horrible guru to me, who was absolutely pestered and finished by that guru. He used to deliver only introductory lectures. And he said, «I used to get 300 people for introductory lectures in the same hall in which you are giving lecture Mother». What do you say to people there, isn't it queer? He is a well-known person who charges you money, who gives you courses; he has ruined so many people. It is like, just as I was watching people going into a pub and coming out of it all drunk. Others are attracted much more, seeing them drunk like that.

Sometimes it is impossible to understand human nature and when the Reality stands before you, you crucify that. How do you explain all this? And the acceptance of reality is your glorification. Are you going to add anything to Reality? Supposing I wear a diamond necklace, it is going to adorn me not to the diamond necklace. This is billions and billions of times more brilliant than all these things which adorn us. If you accept that, you will be glorious, you will be lustrous. Isn't it? Think about it. Because we are charmed about these outside things, their deceptive ways, their cunning ways, and that we are hypnotized. That is the only explanation. That's how they have managed so far. One after another this hypnosis spreads like fire. You ask them what did you find. «Don't ask us, we are very happy people». After 3 days you find that the person has committed suicide. We are not aware still that this is the most important, the most and vital time in the history of human beings.

The last judgment has started. We are facing the last judgment today. We are not aware of it. And all the Satanic Forces have come out like the wolves in sheep’s' clothes. And they are trying to attract you and you do not judge them. You only sit down and judge the Reality. It has started, it is a fact. It has started.

Now, let us see from God's point of view how He is going to judge you. It is quite easy to say that we do not believe in God. Very easy to say that we don't believe in this Govt. but if you do anything wrong, then you know there is a Govt. acting. In the same way it is very easy to say that we do not believe in God. He is so compassionate, He is so loving, He is so kind, that He has given us our freedom to know ourselves. And we rely on Him, we take Him for granted. He has made us human beings from amoeba to this stage. He has spread out such a beautiful world around us. He has done all that. But there is a judgment which we have to face now and the judgment that is going to come from God. It is not going to be the way that we understand that He sits like a magistrate and calls you one by one «come along» and then you have a pleader there, sitting.

But in a subtler way, He has already put the judging forces within you. See in the evolution he has worked it out. In the evolution, how beautifully He has worked it out. From amoeba to this stage, how have we come? Many animals were discarded. He saved some animals e.g. from mammoth family He saved elephant. He saved many and so many were discarded one by one all these years In the same way, human beings who have been very much on the extremes have been discarded. You see the history. Now you won't find anyone killing his seven wives these days. I mean impossible, you cannot do it. Person like Hitler came up. Finished. Anybody who came up with any extreme ideas of domination or anything, was finished. Those ideas die out. People are ashamed of them and new ideas come up into human beings accepting balance, tranquility, peace.

We are talking about it. People talk about peace, but are we really wanting peace within ourselves? And if we are really wanting it, what are we doing about it? Actually the judgment has started and to judge you, God has already placed the whole magistracy within you. All the magistrates are already sitting down there. Christ has said, «Those who are not against me are with me». These are the magistrates. And these magistrates have settled down within you on different Centers in your spinal chord and in your brain.

It is very interesting and all these seats are like a panel sitting in your brain and when the light of Kundalini rises through these centers, When these centers are enlightened within you, you start enlightenment being manifested on your fingers. The end of your fingers get enlightened, the sensitivity of your fingers tell you what centers are there affected within you. This Kundalini rises and comes up to this point, the fontanel bone area or the Talloo as they call it, the soft bone here in your childhood, and it breaks it. Actually it breaks it. You can see in a person, who does not have much hair here, the thing just going down a little. First it pulsates. You can even see the pulsation of the Kundalini in the triangular bone which is sacrum and when this Kundalini rises, you can see even the movement of this Kundalini. Not in all but in some. Because if the person is first class or you can say if the airplane is first class the landing is first class, its shooting off is first class. In such a person, there is no obstruction, you cannot see the Kundalini pushing up. For example, when I came to this place there was no problem on the traffic, so we just smoothly came away, nobody noticed us. But if there was a traffic problem, there would be jamming here and jamming there. In the same way when this Kundalini rises in a person who has a problem on its Centers, it shows. You can see with your naked eyes.

This is what is Kundalini awakening. Not that some people say that they started jumping like a frog. Now, we must use our brains. Brains have to be intact in modern times. Are we going to become frogs now after becoming human beings? Are we to become birds, after becoming human beings? Your sciences, like psychology itself, I mean many of them, believe that you have to jump into your unconscious — achieving your collective consciousness. Very clearly it has been said by these people. Then we must expect something of that nature where we jump into our collective consciousness. It is not that because I am saying it or anybody else is saying it but it has to happen to you.

The other day I was in Hampstead, I know what is happening with some one. Some people did get their vibrations, they did feel the cool breeze coming from their hands but some did not. They said that they have got it and they just disappeared. This is not the way you are going to treat yourself, you are to love yourself and you have to adore your seeking and you have to get your fulfillment. As your Mother I must tell you this is a very serious matter. There is no Guru shopping going on here, you have to get your realization. You have to get it. It is so fortunate that the time has come, when you are living and that you can have it because of that you took your birth during this time because you are Seekers of very ancient times as I told you.

It is written in one of our scriptures in India-called as «Nala-Akhyan». When Nala, one of the tortured souls by Kali, caught hold of the Kali. It is said that now is the rule of Kali. Kali is the sinister fellow, the one who brings all confusion and confuses people. He confused Nala. By that he got separated from his wife. So when Nala got hold of this Kali, he said, «Now, I am going to kill you. I am going to kill you once for all, so that you do not create confusion into people anymore». So Kali said, «Alright, you can kill me, I will accept it but first of all you should know my MAHATMYA (importance) I do have some (MAHATMYA) importance». Nala said, «What importance can you have? You create confusion in the minds of people, what importance can you have?» He said that, «When I will be ruling i e. when he will as in these modern times ruling means creating confusion in our minds. Everything has become relative now. We talk like that, «yes it may be alright, may not be alright, may be good, may not be good». That is the time when the confusion will be reigning on this earth that is Kali Yuga (the modern times). Then those great saints and those great people the Seekers, the Sadhakas who have been searching God in the hills and dales and in the caves will come back as ordinary householders and they will get the REALITY. In this confusion only, they are going to get the vision of REALITY, they are going to become the REALITY. They are going to get their self-realization». And Nala forgot all his vindictiveness and his anger and what Kali had done to him, He said, «On this point I forgive you because I respect them so much. For that collective good I give up all my personal problems. Let this happen.»

That only in Kali Yuga, the sun of Sat-Yuga, the World of Truth, the age of enlightenment is going to come and those Saints who were seeking the reality in the forests are born today in this World. You can see them, they are saintly. They can see the joke of artificial life so clearly. They know it is all absurd but then they do not know what is the Real. But the time has come and it has to be worked out and it will be worked out.

It has worked out in your great country and now, say, a thousand people are there very much in it who have understood it. There must be about at least 300 people who are actively working it out at different places and I am very happy to come to this old city of Kingston, where the stone for the enthroning of the king was put. Must be something special about it.

But the people have lost their sensitivity to Reality, not only in this country but everywhere, much more in India, you will be surprised. They are all getting sophisticated. They are getting developed. They do not know what you have found by your development. If anybody tells them, they think, «you want to enjoy all the fruits of development and you are just telling us lies».

So it is very necessary for you to understand for definite purposes that the Judgment has started. And for that Kundalini is placed within you. But I must say She is a great Judge, you will not find such a Judge anywhere in the whole universe, because She is your own Mother. And, she is Nirvyaj, She is just giving. She does not want anything from you, nothing whatsoever. She wants that you must get your property. You must get your Self. You must get all your powers. She doesn't want anything from you. That you should know your Self.

That you should become your Absolute. That is what She wants. She is your Mother born again and again with you. She has recorded all your problems you have created for yourself for Her ascent. She knows everything about you and She judges you on this point, «how much you are sincerely wishing your ascent». That's all.

She knows you out and out. When She rises, She shows those symptoms, She shows what is wrong with you. But She is your own, absolutely your own. There is no one greater your own than She. She is your friend and She judges you because you must get the best; because She knows what is the best for you. For, a child may like to put his hands in the electric socket but the mother says, «Don't do it, Don't do it». But the child does not listen, he gets angry. Still she says, «No, No, you cannot do it.» Because she loves you. Loves in the purest form, where you do not expect anything from the other person. And such a power lies dormant within you, which is just waiting for an occasion that when She rises, when She sprouts like the germinating power in a seed, when She comes up, then there should be some one who should look after you. There should be some one who should guide, there should be someone who should decode and tell you what you feel on the fingers mean, and what is happening to you. Otherwise you will not know your moorings, you will not know where you are going and you will fall into a trap of ignorance or may be you may be still there not knowing much.

So she wants to use somebody there as the mouthpiece. It is that the Unconscious has to speak through someone. And that someone has to be a person of the same nature as the Kundalini is. Those who make money from you and extort you and leave you in the lurch, how can they be called as Gurus? They are the thieves standing outside the door. They are just waiting for an opportunity to catch hold of you because they have already been judged, discarded and they are going to the jail and they want more people to go with them.

This Kundalini when She rises, She first soothes you physically. That is you can say as a byproduct you get your health, e.g. cancer cannot be cured without the Kundalini awakening. This I have been saying. When doctors get cancer, they come to me and they get cured. But I am not sitting down here to cure cancer, not at all, nor any Sahaja Yogi is interested in cancer patients. But if you want to have your Realization your cancer will be cured, troubles will be cured your health will be alright. I mean those who have realization, are sitting here, had been suffering physically or mentally, some of them were even epileptic and had very bad physical problems, there were some who had blood cancer, some of them had other type of physical problems.

With all these things you are faced with the Divine Love of God, His desire. Kundalini is the representative of His Desire. Desire of the ocean, of the Compassion and of Love. That He wants to bestow His kingdom upon you — that He wants to make you the prince of His kingdom. This is a very very serious thing and we have to concentrate upon this point.

The judgment has to be done and there is a power within us which is to judge. This power is the desire of God, of that God who is Almighty, who has given us our freedom. He is not going to challenge it. His might, His strength, His powers are not going to stand against our freedom. But His desire is within you existing on the Kundalini and this desire rises within you, enlightens you but it does not force you, it does not take away your freedom. It enlightens you to see. You have freedom to be in this room. It is not forced that you sit here or there or walk away. Nothing is forced upon you. But you are given a room which is enlightened. So you use your freedom in a better way with more understanding, because you are enlightened, you can see and then you know what to accept and what not to accept.

First thing is to enlighten you. Unless and until you are enlightened you are in confusion, you cannot see through. Then it is left to your freedom to decide. So She cures you, She improves you, She bestows all the blissful things upon you. She takes you away from the worries of grosser level like after realization, many people have solved their material problems. Not that they have become Mr. Ford or someone like that but the attitude changes and the material problems get solved. Because there is a Center for that also within us. Your family problems get solved. Husband wife problems get solved, so that you are freed. Your grip over these things that worry you, is released and that now you can see with greater freedom what you have to choose, what course to take. After giving all these concessions and all these advantages and all the possible help, then you are judged. Can you think of any magistrate that generous?

And such a thing exists within us. We have to be very thankful to God for what He has done for us. We have no idea. We have taken Him for granted. For everything within us we have taken Him for granted. We have not been able to thank Him for what he has done for us and how kind He has been to us. For a small thing we try to get rid of Him from our hearts. Still He exists, the Kundalini exists within us. Try anything against it, She exists. I have seen some people having Kundalini which is beaten up, there has been horrible marks of pain and anguish and She is just turning Her sides in anguish but still She exists for that moment when She will give you what She is there for. What a blessing! Where can you find all this? It is all within you which has to work out.

But even when they get their realization, I find, they just disappear, even after realization. Can you imagine? Progress in the west has been like that. You move 3 steps forwards and 4 steps backwards. Really you will be amazed. I don't know what has gone wrong with the Western mind, which is disillusioned by the material gains. But when it comes to Sahaja Yoga, their caliber is just of the lowest type, sometimes, one cannot understand. Now can these people have no self-esteem, while in the villages of India people get it and have it just like that no rumblings, nothing. They are just there. Complications are there, I agree. But you must have self-esteem. It sometimes, really makes you feel sick.

Perhaps you do not know that in this country I have worked on seven or eight people for four years. For four years, can you believe it? Not that there is something wrong with you. You are seekers, you are saints born in this country. What has happened to your saintliness? Why so flippant, why so superficial? Why don't you touch it deeply? Why don't you understand your Self? I just fail to understand why don't you respect your Self. I respect you and I love you very much because I know you, I know you from ages. You are the lost children, I know that but I don't know how to establish that within you. Sometimes my condition is the same as that of your Kundalini.

You have to be in a great haste to get it. You have to become absolutely dynamic and blow it out and talk to the people that this is the situation and emergency. Can't you see what is happening in the World? Can't you see the confusion? But the situation is taken for granted. Even if it is faced, it is faced in a very intellectual way that you feel guilty about say, Vietnam. Very good idea, sit down here. Easy chair politicians, thinking about Vietnam or file it up.

You are the chosen ones who have to receive It and it has to happen. But to take Reality you think hundred times and to get into dirty, filthy circle — it just clicks. Whom should I blame for this? These horrible Gurus or these horrible people, who have put up a show for you or it is your knave attitude towards the morality. I shudder to see the way the things are sometimes and the way the people are taking things for granted also.

It is your responsibility today, the ones who are supposed to be the Seekers to see that you bring forth the Reality to the people and tell them that please see and get It. Because you are their fellow beings. You are their kith and kin. How can you leave them even if you get your own realization? Even if you enter into the Kingdom of Heavens, you will not forget them, you will think of them and you cannot be happy. Even when you get your realization also, unless and until all those saints who, out of their ignorance, are lost, you will think of them. I have to work out through you. I cannot work it out alone. If I could then there would have been no difficulty. If God could work out just like this, give them realization, just finished. Establish them alright. But it will not. Because you have the freedom. Why you have the freedom? Because without your freedom you cannot come to that caliber by which you are raised. We do not realize where we are today, we do not realize. Sometimes I feel, I am talking to walls, e.g., you will find that some people are slaves of watches. They have no time. «I have no time, I am so very busy». Why are you saving time? Why has this idea come to you? Our fore-fathers never did that. Why are you saving time? For what? You are saving time for the «becoming» not for wasting it in the parks or in horrible places like races, etc.

You are saving time for «becoming» because you are a diamond. You are to be chiseled out yourself. You are not saving it for wasting. I mean the best advertisement will be «Save fifty pounds to spend three thousand». Something like that. You are saving your time not to waste it. Saving it for something extremely precious, extremely vital and important, something that you have been seeking. But I do not know how sometimes, to keep you on that level of depth. Of course some of the people are of such high caliber even in this country that they are very satisfied. You do not know how much has been done in this country also by God. For example, I went to see Stonehenge, Stonehenge is the creation of Mother Earth. You can see the vibrations. You can feel it. There are so many things done in this country. Kingston itself is so vibrating, I was amazed. What did you find? At least 100 people went into that carriage and some came in here walking, going up and down. Some walked in, some got out. They aren't decided still. Still no proximity to sensitivity. No sensitivity towards the Reality. They cannot feel. May be — may be, it will work out. I am sure it will workout. I am the most optimistic person you can ever see. See, optimism is my nature, I believe. It is going to become. Only thing your so-called «freedom» comes in the way. So try to understand that this freedom is given to you so that you can become your Self and not that you should become an animal. An animal; what is the use of giving realization to, say, a chicken? Can I give also? That is the point.

Many people say, «Mother, I have done lots of good things». I ask, «What good things have you done», «I don't eat chicken». Now, I say, «Why are you saving chickens for me, you better save your self». All sorts of funny ideas they have.

It is you, the Seeker, the buds on this beautiful Tree of Life, they are the ones for whom this creation is created. They are the ones who have to get It. They are the ones who have to have It. The whole universe has blossomed into them and they want to become what — worms? Just think about it.

By God's grace we start the program of realization, which may take perhaps a split of a second, it might have already worked it out because today I was little going too much, I think. Kingston is a good place. May be one day it will become a very great place, I feel. But let us see how much you use the power that is flowing in the area. I hope something will work out.

Now after realization you have to take it up seriously. You have to work it out because after finding it also, it is not that you suddenly jump on to the sun or to the moon. Even going to moon what did you get? You could not understand anything. So you have to go into all the areas of your being because the movement will start inside. You have to take your attention to all the areas within you. You have to settle down your attention and now attention will lose the grip over nonsensical things. All the priorities will change. The greatest thing is that when it pierces the Sahasrara, the joy starts pouring and you start feeling that cool breeze coming through your hands the cool breeze of the Holy Ghost and you start feeling every where. You can find out. Now you can judge others and yourself. You can help others automatically. You have not to go out for that, you have not to get medicines, you don't have to get anything. Just you being there, you help others in their Salvation as if the whole mechanism starts working. The whole technique starts working and you start seeing the whole thing. You will be amazed.

You have to know how to work it out on your own self and others. It is a great fun. We are all in the great fun mood and you should also enjoy with us. And it is wonderful. No time for misery. Only thing one feels is that why these people are doing like this. Like grown ups and mature people we look at little children why are they putting their hands in the fire.

May God Bless You.

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